


Into The Void

by Alexandria225



Category: VIXX
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Break Up, M/M, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 07:17:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21157745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexandria225/pseuds/Alexandria225
Summary: This Wonshik is one he has never seen directed at him in all their years of relationship.





	Into The Void

**Author's Note:**

> Do check out the lyrics to vixx into the void after reading this or listen to it while reading this fic.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Taekwoon tried wretching away from Wonshik’s tight grip on his wrist, but the other just tightened his grip and it was starting to get painful.

Taekwoon whimpered and used his other hand to pry his boyfriend’s hand away, but the younger used this opportunity to grab the other wrist and jerk him forward, causing a loud gasp out of the elder’s mouth.

Taekwoon refused to look into the other’s eyes, knowing that if he did, the tears would start leaking out, and he doesn't want that. He hated it, he hated crying in front of the younger, he hated crying in front of anyone.

It's not Wonshik’s fault, Taekwoon knew that well. But he can't help the stinging in his heart. The pain he felt when he saw the lewd messages sent by an unknown number in Wonshik’s phone. Taekwoon knew Wonshik has no interest in those messages. This has happened before and the younger had blocked the number after getting those messages twice. It's not his fault, he's an aspiring producer in one of the biggest entertainment company in Korea and with the looks to match, girls and boys alike are bound to chase after him.

But Taekwoon can't help it. He was already paranoid enough. He was always afraid, scared that one day Wonshik would wake up and realise the elder really isn't worth anything, and leave him without sparing a glance.

The were nothing alike. Wonshik has good looks while Taekwoon was just moderate looking. Wonshik is passionate and outgoing, Taekwoon is passive and reserved. Wonshik could have everyone in the palm of his hands effortlessly, Taekwoon had to work to gain people’s attention. Wonshik was the bright sun, Taekwoon was the dull moon.

He never understood what Wonshik saw in him, no matter how many times Wonshik had told him that he's perfect, _you're all I've ever wanted and more._

Taekwoon refuses to understand.

Wonshik had been getting home much later than usual for the past weeks, sometimes even staying over at his studio. Taekwoon knows Wonshik is just being hardworking and when he wakes up alone on their bed at 2 in the morning, he knows Wonshik is in the studio overworking himself.

But Taekwoon’s paranoia always gets the better of him. His mind conjuring up images of Wonshik in his studio with another body below him, work on his computer left unattended. And the elder would cry himself to sleep, hating himself for not trusting Wonshik enough.

“Look at me.”

Wonshik demanded sharply, but the other kept his head hung low and struggled against the hold on his wrists. Wonshik could see the slight tremble on the elder’s shoulders and the shuddering intake of breaths, telltale signs that the elder is close to crying. And Wonshik felt his heart break. He willed his anger away and loosened his grip, bringing both the elder’s hands onto his chest.

Wonshik carefully run his thumbs along the others wrists, a silent apology for griping them too tightly.

“Taekwoon, please look at me.”

The other kept his head hung and Wonshik begged again softly. This time Taekwoon raised his head, but kept his eyes wondering on anything but at the pair of eyes in front of him. He was never good with holding eye contacts anyway, no matter the situation. He heard the younger heave a sigh and move forward, resting their foreheads together.

“Please believe me Taekwoon. Those messages mean nothing to me. I have, nor will I ever entertain them.”

Taekwoon knows Wonshik will never reply to those messages, but he can't fight the dammed voice in his head telling him otherwise. He felt eyes boring into him, making his face heat up a little, but he still refused to look up.

“Tell me what to do Taekwoon. Tell me what will make your worries go away. Should I break my phone into two? Should I change my number? Should I work less and spend more time at home? Tell me and I'll do it.”

Wonshik knows that it would be a pain in the ass if he were to change his number, what with the company and some other famous producers and important people having his number. But if Taekwoon wants it, he'll do it. Wonshik also at the point of his career where he would either make it big, or flop. His songs are just starting to become hits. Some of the big producers and artists are now wanting to work with him. If he could spend more time in the studio and come up with better songs and keep up with the music industry's demands, he knows he'll make it big in no time. He's just at the tipping point of his career. But if Taekwoon wants him at home and if that makes him sleep peacefully at night and eases the worries and pain away, Wonshik would do it. Taekwoon is and will always be his number one priority.

Wonshik opened his eyes, not knowing when he had closed them and his eyes softened when he saw the fight leaving Taekwoon’s body. Eventually, his hands lay flat on his chest, and Wonshik could feel the elder lean in him a little, with his eyes closed. And the younger felt the corner of his lips tug up a little, even though the pain in his heart was still there.

It hurts seeing the one you love hate themselves, not deeming themselves worthy of anyone's love. Wonshik feels like crying.

“I love you Jung Taekwoon. I love you. Only you. With all my heart. I love you so much that it hurts. And I wish you could see that. I wish you could understand my love for you. I wish you could see how much I love all of you. All of your smile, all of your tears, all of your flaws, all of your antics. Everything. I wish you could see yourself in my eyes.”

Taekwoon felt something in him crack. That's right, no matter how much the younger tries, he will never understand his love. He will never be able to see himself the way Wonshik sees him. He will never see all of his flaws as beautiful. He will never trust him enough. All he's done is to cause the other pain. All the fights they had was because of him. All the crying. All the anger. Everything.

_ I always mess things around me._

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Taekwoon willed himself to find the strength left in him, and pushed himself off the younger, taking a few steps back. The distance Taekwoon put between them confused the younger. In any other situation, the confused look on Wonshik would bring a smile on Taekwoon’s face, finding it adorable. But now it only made the crack in his heart bigger.

“Taekwoon?”

_I'm only holding him back._ “You've suffered enough.”

The cress in between Wonshik’s eyebrows deepened, and he took a small step forward as the elder took a step back.

“Hyung?” he tried again.

_I don't deserve your love_ “I've been selfish for too long.”

Wonshik could see the elder forcing his expression into a calm one, and it scared him. He could sense what was coming, but he forced the thought away.

_I'm stuck in misery_ “You deserve better than this.”

Wonshik instinctively brought his hand up, slowly reaching towards the man in front of him.

“Taekwoon what-”

_I don't know what else to do_

“Let's end this”

Neither moved an inch for a few seconds, sharp breaths coming out of the taller while the other forced his face to remain stoic.

Wonshik stared, the words sinking in slowly.

No, Taewoon wouldn't. His Taekwoon wouldn't say that. He can't. Not after everything they've been through. Not after all the years they've been together. He won't accept this. He-

“**No**”

_You can't use the words “break up” so easily_

Taekwoon jumped a little at the sharpness of the other’s voice.

“Wonshik l-”

“NO!” with his jaw set tight, Wonshik took took a step forward and saw the other gasp and take and step back, with his eyes wide.

_ It was you who wanted me_

“I have done everything for you.”

Wonshik whispered out loud and with every sentence he took slow steps forward.

_Don't test me_

“I have sacrificed many things for you and I stuck through with you even after everything we've been through."

_ I know you _

Standing mere centimeters from each other, Wonshik cages the other with his eyes, and saw the fear and the slight tremble in the others body.

_You'll be afraid of me if I change_

Taekwoon had his shaking hands clenched tight, willing himself to not turn and ran from the fear he felt.

Wonshik was never like this. Wonshik was always gentle, always the one to apologize first when they fought, always the one to use his head before speaking out, always the patient one.

“Don't you fucking think for one moment that I'll let you leave me just like that.”

This Wonshik is one he has never seen directed at him in all their years of relationship.

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to write this after listening to into the void, reading the lyrics and listening to it again. Wrote this on a bad day hence the angst.


End file.
